The pain is unstoppable. I need help. Sometimes I cry, sometimes I laugh like I am okay. Truthfully, I'd not known whether I am sane or insane. It is too blurry. Books cannot help either but I've found several of them hanging about suicidal thoughts of not being easy to take life. I am dragged to this thing and no one cares. When I think I am at the stage or level of not being broadly crazy about relationships, I was wrong. I truly am. 

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(The Script - Flares)

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1. Playlist for the Dead - Michelle Falkoff


Title: Playlist for the Dead
Author: Michelle Falkoff
Publisher: Harper Teen
Year: 2015
Pages: 288 pages
Language: English

If you like 13 Reasons Why, I bet you will also like this book. Playlist for the Dead brings a story about Sam whom his friend, Hayden, was committing suicide. The story is nearly similar to Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira that I have reviewed here. Sam's character is tedious and full of curiosity at one point so that he has to take the playlist and listen to it carefully to know the reason behind his friend's death. I love the fifty pages first after opening the cover but feeling itchy just to continue the story. However, I love the idea of how the writer delivers the message of riddles behind the investigation done by Sam. It is gripping.

2. All the Bright Places - Jennifer Niven


Title: All the Bright Places
Author: Jennifer Niven
Publisher: Knopf
Year: 2015
Pages: 378 pages
Language: English

Adulting is the scariest moment in my life today since I cannot always handle everything dropped in front of my door; either I have to take it or leave it. Jennifer Niven seems to have passed the same phase when writing this book. Finch and Violet meet in the way they have never realized before that they will save each other. They both have experienced the most painful moment in their life and now they return to do the favor. With contrast characteristics, both of them nearly killed themselves since one of them start to sink while the other keeps awakening from the darkness. It's like you watch A Star is Born movie (with Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga on it) and read The Fault in Our Stars book at the same time. Prepare for a lot of tissues and steady mental health when reading this book or you will be exaggeratedly and extremely sad when you close the book.

3. The Last Time We Said Goodbye - Cynthia Hand


Title: The Last Time We Say Goodbye
Author: Cynthia Hand
Publisher: Harper Teen
Year: 2015
Pages: 386 pages
Language: English

This book is adequately telling me that nothing lasts forever, including moments. That's why don't ever stick yourself in "a moment" or in "a feeling" because it was all temporary. Time will pass and so do you. Lex's happiness is a new thing for me to learn from. She used to have everything that makes her happy until everything turns out to be blue. She lost everything at once and she was below empty. If you are a fan of Unearthly Trilogy by Cynthia Hand, prepare and brace yourself because this time you won't pass without tragic experiences owned by the characters on the book. Unlike the trilogy, The Last Time We Say Goodbye will tell you the darkest side of committing suicide: the one who killed themselves will permanently leave fundamental questions for the one who is left behind. 

4. My Heart and Other Black Holes - Jasmine Warga


Title: My Heart and Other Black Holes
Author: Jasmine Warga
Publisher: Harper Collins/Balzer+Bray
Year: 2015
Pages: 302 pages
Language: English

I love the idea of Suicide Partners Jasmine Warga brought on this context. I also love the main character, Aysel, a teenage girl who is genius and love to learn physics beyond boundaries. It feels like this novel is destined for me. Aysel is tired of living since her mother cannot barely look at her without accusing something, her classmates talk behind her back and her father has a bad reputation for violent crime. She planned on committing suicide by joining Suicide Partners program to find someone who is as desperate as her to make her death comes true. I got jumped and cried along with the pages because I knew how she felt about living in a rough life. In the end, Jasmine Warga really stabbed me by the reality that not every story has a good ending. Sometimes e have to deal with the bad ones and cliffhangers.

5. Suicide Notes - Michael Thomas Ford


Title: Suicide Notes
Author: Michael Thomas Ford
Publisher: Harper Teen
Year: 2008
Pages: 295 pages
Language: English

I don't accept my depression until I found this book telling about Jeff all around. Jeff is stuck between his life crisis since he cannot convince his parents to be "different". Below everything, he is kind and genius. Apparently, life pushes him into the state he's never thinking about. Cutting wrist becomes his addiction. Jeff is telling us that whether you deny it or not, you will still thinking about what you can or cannot do in life. Though you are an individual human being, you are still attached to at least one string: parents who avoid you doing that and this. Rebuttal won't help but make it worse.

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Did you lose what won't return?
Did you love but never learn?
The fire's out but still it burns
And no one cares, there's no one there

Did you find it hard to breathe?
Did you cry so much that you could barely see?
In the darkness all alone
And no one cares, there's no one there

Well did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light? Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you? Did you? Did you see the sparks feel the hope? You are not alone Cause someone's out there, sending out flares

Did you break but never mend?
Did it hurt so much you thought it was the end?
Lose your heart but don't know when
And no one cares, there's no one there

Well did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light? Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you? Did you? Did you see the sparks feel the hope? You are not alone Cause someone's out there, sending out flares Someone's out there, sending out flares

Did you lose what won't return?
Did you love but never learn?

But did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light? Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you? Did you? Did you see the sparks filled with hope? You are not alone Cause someone's out there, sending out flares

Well did you see the flares in the sky? Were you blinded by the light? Did you feel the smoke in your eyes? Did you? Did you? Did you see the sparks feel the hope? You are not alone Cause someone's out there, sending out flares Someone's out there, sending out flares






4 Comments

  1. Enggak terlalu suka 13RW, biasa aja, tapi kayaknya boleh dicoba itu Playlist.

    Versi saya yang lumayan memancing pikiran ke arah sana: Bukunya Haruki, Norwegian Wood dan Tsukuru Tazaki Tanpa Warna dan Tahun Ziarahnya; Natsume Soseki, Rahasia Hati; Buku Catatan Harian Sylvia Plath; Catatan dari Bawah Tanah, Fyodor Dostoyevski; Misery, Stephen King; Dan Kematian Makin Akrab, Subagio Sastrowardoyo.

    Sebagian karena ceritanya yang kelam, sebagian lagi karena sadar kemampuan menulis ini tak ada apa-apanya, sehingga muncul pikiran lebih baik mati daripada memaksakan diri buat memperbaiki tulisan. Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Alhamdulillah ya fase itu udah lewat.. Tapi baca bukunya buat bernostalgia kayaknya boleh juga..

    ReplyDelete

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