Gean: I still want to go to Mars, you know.

Lucy: I know. It's funny how we waited for the past few years and nothing happens about that. People launch the project. Fail and try again. Over and over. But that is the best feeling you can have. You try. Even if the failure ends up to outgrown the success, but we tried.

Gean: I don't think that all people can do the same. Try and try and try. It sucks.

Lucy: That's the beautiful side. Only special people can do that.

Gean: Can we do a little trivia here?

Lucy: Sure. Hit me.

Gean: What is the last song you have listened to these days?

Lucy: Goner by Twenty One Pilots.


(Twenty One Pilots - Goner)

Gean: How long you have played the song?

Lucy: I don't know. Perhaps five days since the last we spoke. It is on 'play once' mode.

Gean: *singing* I am a goner, somebody...

Lucy: *also singing* ...catch my breath. 

Gean and Lucy: *singing together* I wanna be known by you.

Gean: I always like that song. But the most liked song by Twenty One Pilots is Ride.

Lucy: Most liked a song by people doesn't define my favorite songs. 

Gean: Okay. I know that your interest is a little bit unique. I myself don't know people's interest because I am not tied to the newest or latest trend.

Lucy: *giggling* Gean, if you are not tied to something new and fresh, then what about me? It's like I know nothing hype on the news. 

Gean: Yeah. You are busy.

Lucy: Only a bit. Well, what's the next question?

Gean: Okay. I want to know the last picture you have saved on your phone.

Lucy: Hmmm... *showing the last picture saved on the phone*


Gean: It is a waiting room for boarding at the airport, right?

Lucy: Yes, it is. 

Gean: What is the meaning for you? I know you have something behind this.

Lucy: It is longing and waiting.

Gean: ...to what?

Lucy: Anything. Waiting for taking off, waiting for landing, waiting to live and waiting to die. This picture shows that everybody's waiting for their own. I love waiting at the airport. Even if you are not coming, I already bought the train ticket days ago.

Gean: I also wait for something happen between us.

Lucy: Who doesn't?

Gean: I think you are not waiting for me anymore.

Lucy: Then, you are wrong. I think the opposite. You hate me and you want me to die.

Gean: I want you to die. Indeed. You've hurt me.

Lucy: Who doesn't?

Gean: What do you mean?

Lucy: Everything hurts us but we have a different response. In your opinion, I hurt you. In my opinion, you hurt me. I also hurt other people. You too. In your eyes, I am the bad guy. In other person's eyes, you are the bad guy. You said I cheated. But look behind you. You have apologized for cheating too. If I am an asshole to you, you must be an asshole to other people. Deal with it. In physics, it is called action and reaction by Newton Third Law.

Gean: And you know how it feels. You just make everything like a mess and you want to clear everything like nothing happens. If you want to try still, at least you have to invent the time machine. Steal me and we will live in the past until we die.

Lucy: No day without me thinking and trying to pursue that.

Gean: Then, don't stop. Make it happen.

Lucy: I wish I can make it happen soon.

Gean: Am I not good for you? 

Lucy: More than good.

Gean: Then, why you did this to me? Why you hurt me?

Lucy: Because, in the end, what matters is our own perspective so you need to work on that dealing with different mind crisis.

Gean: I still don't understand. And it still hurts.

Lucy: We are human. It will remain hurtful for both you and me. You can push so hard but it is people's right to give a response. I want to convince you that I am trying to make it right and I defense myself to say that I am right. I am not hurting you by God or by purpose. You just didn't listen. It is so human. I got your point and I tried to understand your decision. 

Gean: What did you do these days? Do you miss me?

Lucy: More than anything. But I assume you do not miss me.

Gean: I don't know whether I miss you or not. Bad dreams are killing me.

Lucy: It's okay. You will pass this. I am sorry for taking so long to solve it so you start to feel numb.

Gean: In your case. In my case, you are lying.

Lucy: That's what I said about our own perspective. I will not deny it. You have every right to express your own perspective.

Gean: You are not changed a bit, Lucy.

Lucy: My phone wallpaper and screensaver did change today. What doesn't change is me crying and doing nothing. I keep looking at your WhatsApp room chat too. And email. And Google Drive. And blog. I knew you erase everything about me. Perhaps you also assume that I am here is happy and forget you easily. I felt that.

Gean: I cannot stand having you in my circle anymore.

Lucy: It's fine. With or without you, I still love you.

Gean: So, you are just crying?

Lucy: Not really. I made this.



Gean: Why did you make these stuff?

Lucy: I cannot go and live there now so I need something to be seen. They must be like them. The two places I have always adored so much.

Gean: Don't you want to rest? Quit trying.

Lucy: If I can, I will stop since the beginning.

Gean: What if I say I don't want to try anymore?

Lucy: Not a problem for me.

Gean: What if I beg you to continue living on our own?

Lucy: You go. It's your right. I will not take you to build this anymore.

Gean: You are so ignorant.

Lucy: It is not the first time you put a label to me. I get used to it. Yes, I am ignorant. I also don't know why I am like this. Why it is you. Just let me be.

Gean: Okay. I understand.

Lucy: Thank you.

Gean: Any word to say again?

Lucy: I still play music using Winamp.


Gean: Indeed you are old.

Lucy: Are you not?

Gean: Yeah. We are both old to realize that life is too short to have anxiety.

Lucy: The past and anxiety, also bad dreams and wrecked mood, are the emergents of events. It is time dimension versus space dimension. Like we used to watch on TED-Ed.

Gean: You always sound like you know everything. But why did you not know that you ruin my life?

Lucy: Because I don't know about everything.

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